101+ Best Funny Birthday Wishes, Quotes, & Messages

Are you looking for funny birthday wishes? Here is the right place to get the best collections of funny birthday wishes. Wish your friends and family a birthday. Make them a special memorable funny birthday.

Fun means enjoyment specifically, playful often boisterous action or speech full of fun.

Another birthday of yours! It seems almost as if you’ve been polluting the earth forever.

Happy birthday to a real friend of mine. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished!

Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!

Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!

Isn’t it funny how most people mature and grow up as they age, yet you cleverly continue to defy getting older by not doing those things? I guess that must only mean you’re getting younger then, bestie! Happy birthday to you!

Funny Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday to the funniest guy I know: my brother! I hope you have a day that’s as funny and as hilarious as you are!

Please get a funfetti cake for your birthday. Since you are no fun, at least the cake should be.

At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!

Happy birthday. The older you’re getting, the more of a child you’re becoming. Grow up now, will you?

For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there! Happy Birthday!

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

You’re funny and cute, You make me laugh I could definitely see you as my other half! Happy birthday, gorgeous!

Happy birthday, dear. Smile! Because with your increasing age, your teeth might be gone sooner than you think.

You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!

Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake.

I wish some people would stop wasting things. Just like you. You are wasting space on the earth and certainly wasting the time of others. Happy Birthday!

Here’s wishing you the happiest birthday with all of my butts! (Why would I say “with all my heart” when my butt is definitely bigger.)

As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

Technically you’re not 50. You’re only $49.95, plus tax!

Another delicious cake is going to be wasted today for the birthday of a useless person whose existence in this world makes no difference at all. Happy Birthday to that person!

Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt!

Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.

Today, anyone not mentioning in their wishes that you have gotten old and ugly is a liar. Anyway, Happy Birthday dear, you are aging beautifully each year!

Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!

We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.

They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!

I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!

Even if I was smoking cracks, I would still see the sign of aging on my face. How could anyone not notice that? Happy Birthday, dear but you have to accept the truth!

Smart, good-looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!

Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!

Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Have you ever thought what a stupid douchebag you were when we were kids? Guess what, you haven’t changed at all. Happy Birthday!

A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”.

You have been alive for so many years, and all you have gained in life is a big fat belly. That’s a big achievement for the loser. Happy Birthday!

It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

Age is just a number, just like your salary. They keep increasing every year! So, why feel sad for one and happy for the other? Cheers to your birthday!

Happy birthday! May your heart today be as full as your Facebook wall will be with birthday messages from people you’ve never spoken to.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Best Friend

A great friend is like your favorite underwear set. They’re familiar, they’ve been with you for a lot of years, and they make you feel secure.

Happy Birthday, my dear friend. I hope you don’t mind that I invited Sir Robert Mondavi and Sir Yellowtail over for dinner tonight.

Happy birthday! I was going to get you some alcohol but given the times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate. Stay healthy my best friend!

Happy birthday to you today, my beautiful friend! We have shared so many wonderful moments and created some truly memorable memories to cherish forever. We’re certainly going to have some incredibly funny stories to tell our kids someday!

Happy birthday to someone I hope is my best friend even when we’re too senile to remember each other’s birthdays.

Happy Birthday to my dear best friend. I hope when we’re old and our future children put us in a home, we’ll be roommates or at least across the hall from each other. Our coffee & gossip dates will continue on!

You might want to forget about your birthday but I never could! I’ll take any opportunity to remind you that you’re getting older, my best friend! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to a big kid at heart! I’ve known you since childhood and I can tell you from experience that you’re still just as fun and playful as you were back then!

I will go ahead and make your day. Happy Birthday, my good friend. I didn’t even log on to Facebook to be told it was your special day. I hope you make it a great one.

Happy birthday to you today, my dear best friend! You, my friend, are a truly unique guy and anything but ordinary. you’re simply unlike any other!

Happy birthday, my best friend! Just remember, as a general rule of thumb the more gray hair you have the more wisdom you hold!

Funny Birthday Wishes For Sister

Happy birthday from one wise elder sister to her younger and more beautiful baby sister!

I hope you always stay the funny and cheeky little girl I know and love, and who growing up with was a total blast! Happy birthday to you today!

There’s nothing quite as precious as the bond between siblings. I love you and hope you’ll have a perfect birthday.

The most heartfelt wishes to my incredible sister! You mean so much to me, cutie, I wish you all the happiness in the world!

I was trying to think of something funny or witty for your birthday message this year, but all I could think of were silly jokes and cliche anecdotes. I guess you got the gift of being both the younger ones and the funny one, sis!

You know you get the most attention, right? So what exactly is the point of a whole day dedicated to you? Anyways, Happy Birthday!

No one has quite a little sister like you. You are not only crazy but funny at the same time. Happy Birthday.

To the sibling, I am least embarrassed to be related to! Or am I? Happy Birthday to the coolest sister anyone could ever ask for!

Happy Birthday, sister! You better go check if you grew! I’m so glad the aliens sent you to earth all those years ago to be my sister. I hope you have a fun birthday! We love you!

Some people command respect, some admiration, some jealousy, some competitiveness, and others, unconditional love. But you command all these things at once. Happy birthday to my perfect sibling.

Happy Birthday, sister! I hope you have a super fabulous day and a super fabulous year! Party hard, but not TOO hard. I hear hangovers only get worse as you get older.

BFF means Best Friends Forever but do you know what SBFD means? It means Sister but Best Friend in Disguise. Happy birthday.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Brother

At least your retirement is still far and you are still agile to help and support me through retirement. It’s a wonderful feeling you know? Happy birthday, brother!

You may not be the perfect brother – in fact, you’re pretty far off from being one. However, we still love you just the same, and we hope you’ll be blessed with good health and wisdom!

Happy birthday, little brother! You might be jealous of your big sister in many ways, but I’ll always be envious of the fact that you’ll always be younger than me!

Wishing a happy birthday to my favorite brother of all time – I know you’re my only brother, but still. You’re the best I could ask for all year round.

You are having another birthday, it seems just yesterday when we emptied your pockets at your birthday party. Be ready this year as well.

I remember you like a little rascal, giving headaches to Mom and Dad. You were so playful and uncontrollable! It’s amazing how we all still love you so much. Happy birthday, you little rascal.

You always did stand out from the crowd when you were bro, and I’m glad to see that you’re no different now! Happy birthday to you!

I know it’s tough not being able to see you today, but know that the day I see you, I’ll give you some blow as a gift. Happy birthday, brother!

I hope and want to see you with no hairs on your head, no teeth in your mouth and all your body sagging, I think it is going to happen soon after a few more birthdays.

Happy Birthday brother, you have come to an age where you should be careful before coughing, sneezing, or farting, it may cause you to pee in your pants. Hahaha, be a more careful brother!

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